New Year's Resolutions be Damned. Instead: What Sets Your Heart on Fire? [Redux]

It's the map to magic.

Teaching an impromptu art lesson with a family from Nairobi

Friends—

In my mind, a new year—really a new world order—cannot come fast enough for our society, our nation, our planet. That is my wish and my prayer, however long it may take.

In the meantime, I published this piece a year ago and its sentiments endure, so on the brink of a new year, I’m sharing an updated version of it today.

I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions. Maybe it signals a lack of discipline, perhaps a loss of interest, or better yet, little faith in the whole idea. When I’m turned on to an idea or project, resolutions are unnecessary. My own fire keeps me going. When I’m truly disinterested, no resolution will kick that malaise—even if it’s for important quotidian things, like say decluttering my garage, paying bills, organizing paperwork. This adult shit is real and I definitely could do a better job at it. But, the truth is, I’d rather ski powder than clean my bathroom, and my heart usually wins out.

It’s heartening for me (perhaps disheartening for others) to know that studies have shown about 80 percent of New Year’s resolutions fail, most often by mid-February. Psychologists and others postulate a host of reasons for failure: goals are too lofty—and at times well-beyond an individual’s current skills or capacity (which also happens to be a key cause of anxiety), the word resolution itself is too dire, or there’s a lack of passion, clarity, or inspiration behind the resolution. So, I say: Resolutions be damned.

What I am interested in, however, is asking questions like: What am I curious about? What sets my heart on fire? How might I best share my gifts? This approach seems much more interesting, much juicier. It opens up worlds of possibility.

In his book, Curious: The Desire to Know and Why Your Future Depends On It, Ian Leslie writes that the quest for knowledge and understanding, particularly “a wide-ranging desire for intellectual and cultural exploration” can be a “font of satisfaction and delight that provides sustenance for the soul.” Curiosity leads to more enriched lives and better relationships. I couldn’t agree more.

In fact, the gift of curiosity, perhaps more than any other inclination, has shaped me as a person, set me out on explorations and adventures of all sorts, and laid the scaffolding for calling in the people most dear to me. As a child, my parents dubbed me The Why Child for my ceaseless questioning. The answer to one question always beget the next: But, why? It’s probably not surprising, then, that the deep curiosity I developed as a child scrambling around New England’s coastline ultimately led me to years of graduate work in geology and oceanography and hydrology, fueled by wonderment at the impossible beauty of it all. Or that I’ve been told my curiosity and openness with people is relatively uncommon (a truth that came into sharp focus through horribly banal interactions with men on dating apps where I learned, in many cases, a question does not beget a question).

[Update]

Last year I shared that deep adventure was beckoning and previous experience had shown she would win out in some form or another. At the time, I was loosely envisioning a trip to sacred water sites in India or Bali, perhaps an exploration of the Tibetan Plateau. A pilgrimage on the Camino del Santiago through France and Spain. A deep wilderness expedition somewhere, anywhere. I had no concrete plans for any of it, compelled more by the sentiment than the form.

Turns out that the sentiment of adventure did win out but the form was quite different. Rather than soaking in the sacred sites of Bali, I soaked in natural hot waters across open spaces of the desert southwest and the mountains states; adventure did not take me to the Tibetan Plateau, but instead to the Laikipia Plateau in Kenya. I also recognized my enduring urge to make art. This, too, was deeply nourished by time painting as an artist-in-residence in Kenya.

I also wrote my heart out, sharing some from my adventures in the Desert Southwest in these pieces:

Unlocking Awe: The Magic Of Desert Canyons And Starry Skies

More Desert Magic: The Healing Power of Freedom and Awe

and from my time in Laikipia via a series of a dozen Field Notes from Kenya.

I share this now as a testament to the power of alignment. Kenya wasn’t even on my radar when I penned this piece last December; today, the place, the people, the organisms are indelibly scribed into the fabric of my heart. It’s become another experience that adds to my innate knowing that beauty, adventure, and magic are out there; it’s my job to pay attention. And, this coming year? Truth is I’ve not even gotten around to meditating my way into loose visions for the upcoming year (though I do have plenty of ideas!) Instead, I know my heart will serve up the next right thing.

I trusted my heart would serve up the next best thing. It did. [Me in Kenya, thanks to @tarjaruuska.]

English philosopher and essayist Francis Bacon so beautifully said, “Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake.” I have little in the way of a road map to make manifest my desires; instead, I intend to nurture the energies of inspiration, excitement, and creativity, allowing them to shape a way to live—not just in the coming year—but like a snowflake in this sparkling present moment.

As you celebrate the holidays and think to the year ahead, I invite you to take some time to contemplate: What are you curious about? What sets your heart on fire? How might you best share your gifts? And, if it moves you, to share your insights here.

Wishing you wonder and awe in the New Year.

xo Wendy